This piece was created as part of a class exercise. We split into pairs and were given limited time to create a portrait that reflected our partner’s identity. Holly had spoken about their experiences, challenges, and self-discovery as a non-binary person. I wanted to create a portrait that reflected a balance of both femininity and masculinity — a visual expression of duality and fluidity.
As someone who identifies as a woman and has always considered herself very feminine, I couldn’t personally relate to Holly’s experience of navigating gender in that way. And that’s exactly what drew me to the project. This was an identity outside of my own — one I could only begin to understand through conversation, empathy, and portraiture. That prospect excited me.
I believe portrait artists have a responsibility to represent the identity of their subjects with care, especially when that identity exists outside their own lived experience. One of my favorite moments from The Magicians — a show I love — is a scene where Quentin is struggling to empathize with the decisions of others after his death. Penny tells him he’s suffering from “a classic case of white male protagonist syndrome.” I found it hilarious — and true. Sometimes artists and authors forget to examine their own biases. But if you aim to tell someone else’s story, you must come with humility, openness, and deep respect for their truth.
I also believe that as artists, we should want to depict lives and perspectives beyond our own. Because honestly, doesn’t telling the same old story over and over again get a little boring?
For the set, we found a large sheet of artificial turf. It was Holly's idea to use it as the base for our shoot. As an artist who often works with floral imagery and symbolism, I was completely on board. For my portrait, I envisioned a seamless cyclorama with no visible division between floor and background — something immersive and surreal. The turf was heavy, but we managed to hang it just high enough using clips and C-stands.
For the props and styling, I wanted to convey equal parts femininity and masculinity — something delicate and stout, beautiful and handsome. A being always in motion, always growing — and yet grounded, constant. I chose this white suit jacket for its androgynous quality. It leans neither feminine nor masculine, and as with any suit- it carries an inherent symbolism of power. This image means to stand as a statement of authority and celebration — a declaration of gender identity, fully owned.
I directed Holly to hold a stoic expression, with one hand crossed over their shoulder — a gesture of self-solidarity in the face of adversity and rejection. In a field of grass, Holly is both the flower and the log: soft and strong, ever-evolving, yet steady. Content in their skin. No longer defined by the expectations of how they were raised, or how others once tried to identify them.
Alternate Version
As a representation of another person, Holly’s opinion of the portrait was incredibly important to me. I wanted them to feel seen and accurately represented, so it brought me a lot of pride to hear how pleased they were with the final image.
I encourage other artists to seek out stories beyond their own — and to seek feedback on how those stories are told. It’s a powerful learning experience, and it can spark inspiration for future work. Plus, it’s genuinely fun. You can support Holly’s work at hollyhazen.org.